Deeper Life Ministry Marriage Doctrine.

The marriage doctrine comes immediately after my comments. I have to say that most of it  conforms to generally accepted christian teachings. But there are a few  debatable areas. These  are highlighted in red.

a)Every couple MUST get parental consent?  Hmmmm! I can think of several cases where that may never happen – e.g parents are of a different religion  and are persecuting the child for converting.  And also , not everyone has sensible and responsible parents. I  know several people who don’t.  Sometimes,  they may try to force you into bad decisions, and you make your own decisions. Making no allowance for extreme situations is too harsh!

b) Length  and mode of courtship is determined by the church leadership?  No comment. I just cant! On second thoughts, I must comment – if you are about to marry someone, you cannot spend time together except in the presence of a christian couple? Hmmm!

c)Divorced people can NEVER remarry.That is a very tough one. Hmmm. Not that I condone divorce but if someone leaves you for someone else, you are punished twice.  This seems to imply that you must spend the rest of your life waiting for them to come back.

d) The wedding ceremony must not be “worldly”. Apparently, from the John and Love wedding saga, it appears that having anything nice in your wedding is worldly. No lacy or fitted dress, no flowers, no nicely decorated car, no cake.

It is apparent that I am not a Deeper Life member. However for those of you that are, what do you think of these rules?  And even if you are not, what are your thoughts? This is…. WOW!

The doctrine:

God’s Word teaches;

That Marriage is binding for life. Monogamy is the uniform teaching of the Bible. Polygamy is contrary to God’s perfect will and institution. Also, under the New Testament dispensation, no one has a right to divorce and remarry while the first companion lives. When a person becomes con- verted, necessary restitution, on this line, must be done without delay if he has married wrongly. Genesis 2:24; Deuteronomy 7:1-4; Job 23:11-13; 2 Corinthians 6:14-18; Proverbs 31:10-31; Malachi 2:14,15; Romans 7:2,3; Ephesians 5:31-33; Matthew 5;31,32; 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18; John 4:15-19; Genesis 20:3-7.

Marriage is a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender self-sacrificing care. It is God’s idea and not a derivative of any culture. It is a gift from God to man and it has three basic aspects: (i) The man leaves his parents, and in a public act, pledges himself to his wife; (ii) The man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other’s welfare and by loving the partner above all others; (iii) The two become one flesh in the intimacy and commitment to the wonderful union which is reserved for marriage. By so doing, marriage provides the needed fellowship, comfort, companionship and partnership. It is one of God’s methods to keep men and women free from fornication and immorality. With very few exceptions, most men and women are to marry. These few exceptions are to receive God’s guidance and are not to be the product of infantile decisions, misguided imitations, faithless consecration or frivolous religious compassion (Genesis 2:18-20, 22-24; Matthew 19:4,5; Ephesians 5:31; I Corinthians 7:1,2,25-29,32).

Marriage is part of God’s plan to raise the Christian family. But the believer is not to go searching for a wife or husband, neither are they to resort to the abominable method of ‘sampling’ or ‘picking and choosing’. And the Lord God, said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him ” (Genesis 2:18). God seems to be saying, “ I am not going to allow the man to choose for himself”. “And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman and brought her unto him ” (Genesis 2:22). God did not bring a girl, an immature female or a teenager, but He brought a woman – (intelligible, sensible and mature) unto the man. He brought a perfect fit – two of a kind! God still leads His children to His will in marriage today. He does this through (i) His Word (Psalm 119:105,130; 2 Timothy 3:16,17), (ii) the inner voice of the Holy Spirit, prompting, directing, influencing or checking (John 10:4,5,27; Romans 8:14; Proverbs 20:27; I Samuel 9:15-21; 16:12,13; Joel 2:28,29; Acts 9:10-15). However, any revelation that is received must be diligently compared with the Scripture. If any revelation, visions or dreams contradict the Scripture in anyway, such revelations, visions or dreams are to be rejected as false (Isaiah 8:19,20; Jeremiah 23:21-32; 2 Corinthians 11:13-15; Revelation 22:18,19). Once the will of God is known, believers are to seek and obtain their parents’ consent before going on with any further plans (Genesis 24:15-29; 34:3-12; Exodus 22:16; Deuteronomy 7:3; I Samuel 18:20,21; I Corinthians 7:36-38).

It is ungodly for any believer to elope with a woman or man no matter the divergent and unyielding stance of their parents (Genesis 31:20-51). People in such a situation must pray and trust in the Lord who gave the revelation of His will, to finish the work, for “ with God all things are possible ” (Mark 10:27; Psalm 37:4; Philippians 4:6; Proverbs 21:1). Thereafter, payment of bride price or dowry shall be executed in line with the Scripture. It is an ungodly practice to borrow money or go into debt to impress the woman’s parents or invitees. It is also considered sinful for two people to live together without meeting the requisite obligations to their parents (Exodus 22:17; I Samuel 18:25-27; Hosea 3:2,3; 1 Corinthians 14:40; Romans 13:7,8). The parents’ consent will lead, naturally, to a period of courtship to be determined by the church leadership but preferably not longer than nine months. This affords the intending couple the opportunity to understand each another and plan for the future together. It is a time to be spent together not in secrecy but in the home of a Christian family where movement of people is not restricted. It is during courtship that the intending couple will discuss their expectations of each other (on finances, size of family anticipated, extended family, etc). Purity must be maintained before, during and after the courtship (I Thessalonians 4:3-7; 5:22). Visitations and exchange of gifts at this stage are not acceptable, before the wedding. The Christian wedding is preceded by ‘filing in of notice’ at the Marriage Registry. This is to enable the public inform the Magistrate should there be any objection to the proposed marriage. The church wedding will take place after the Pastor had received a certificate from the magistrate.

The church will not join a couple in marriage where (i) one of them had been previously married and is separated from his or her partner (Matthew 19:4-6; John 4:18); (ii) the lady has not obtained the consent of her parents; (iii) the lady is already pregnant (iv) the couple is in unequal yoke – one of them is not born again (Deuteronomy 7:3; 2 Corinthians 6:14).

Therefore, no believer will marry an unbeliever or a divorced person. Moreover, God’s word forbids the believer marrying “any that is a near of kin”, that is “a relative ” (Leviticus 18:6). Marrying relatives was prohibited by God for physical, social, and moral reasons. Children born to near relatives may experience serious health problems. When improper sexual relations begin, family life is destroyed. “ For all these abominations have the men of the land done, which were before you, and the land is defiled …” (Leviticus 18:27).

From the parables and actual marriages in the Scripture, weddings were moments of rejoicing and feastings (Jeremiah 33:11; John 2:1-11; 3:29; Isaiah 62:5) and special garments were provided for the bridegroom, bride, and guests at the wedding (Matthew 22:12; Revelation 19:7,8). Yet, Christian practice must be guided by the uniform teaching of Christian living in the New Testament (I Corinthians 7:29- 31; 6:12; 8:9,13; Romans 14:15; I John 2:6; 3:2-4). The believers therefore must shun every form of worldliness and worldly imitations in dressing and in the manner of entertaining guests. Simplicity and modesty must characterise the wedding in order that God’s name may be glorified.

The first step in creating a new union with one’s spouse is the dissolving of the old one: a severence of relationship with one’s parents (Genesis 2:23,24; Ephesians 5:30,31). He is to ‘leave father and mother’, which means departing, loosing oneself, finding freedom from them. Many who have violated this scriptural principle have discovered to their chargrin a hurt to their marital joy. Marriage is “until death do us part”, and God did not make any provisions for divorce or re-marriage.

In marriage, lack of spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy usually precedes a break down of physical intimacy. When couples fail to expose their secret thoughts to one another, they shut off the line of communication to one another. The great secret of conjugal happiness is mutual love, kindness, tenderness and loveliness of character in the home. The wife should respect and obey the husband and the husband should love and care for the wife (Ephesians 5:22-31). “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord …” Submission is not the obliteration or nullification of the woman’s personality. It is neither subjugation nor an imposed obedience. Submission is a voluntary subordination. It is obedience motivated by love (Philippians 2:5-8). “Likewise, ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands …” (I Peter 3:1-6). Such a life speaks loudly and clearly, and is often the most effective way to influence a family member. Christian wives should develop inner beauty rather than being overly concerned about their appearance. When the wife lives the Christian faith quietly and consistently in the home, her family would see Christ in her.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it … So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself ” (Ephesians 5:25,28). Christ is the model of love. The husband can never love his wife too much; yet, that love is inconsequential when compared to his love for the Lord. The husband’s love makes him to be considerate, understanding and is able to bear with his wife.

The husband is also the head of the family. This headship has the idea of authority, an authority after the analogy of Christ’s headship. In that sense, the husband is the spiritual head of the family and his wife goes along with his leadership. A wise and Christ-honouring husband will not take advantage of his role, and a wise and Christ-honouring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership.

“Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband ” (Ephesians 5:33).

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19 Comments

  • Bro Wole Akinwande

    Am really blessed with it
    Thanks and God bless you

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    I Love This but i hate the doctrine of the church,thank God im not a member

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    Let me assure that dlbc is a sinful church especially because it has a manmade doctrine created by pastor kumuyi.im dumping dlbc in 2015 this year and im breaking up a friend peacefully with [NAME REMOVED BY EDITOR] in 2015,U ALL WILL GO TO HELL FIRE BECAUSE OF SUCH A USELESS DOCTRINE,MAY GOD FORGIVE ALL OF YOU.

     
  • oluwatosin

    i have an issue concerning my relationship wit a guy which is d member of deeper life church.dis guy has a girl fwend before dat dat has a baby for him and d lady went away in an excuse dat she can’t stay to take care of d baby cos of her career.i met dis guy he told me his story and both of us started dating for a year now but d baby is now eight years now.dis year d lady came back claiming dat she has a daughter for him and she will marry him back and his parent too are forcing dis guy after she went away for eight years .wat should I do cos I too I’m just converted to deeper life church.

     
    • admin

      Dear Oluwatosin,
      If you want some advice on this issue, why not write an email to contraculturemag@gmail.com with the full story so that we can know how to properly advice you. it is well with you.

       
      • mark david

        am a young man of 32 years of age and had defiled someone’s daughter in 2003 whiles i was a basic school pupil and gave birth to a boy but now the lady has married another man and gave birth to 4 children. please what do i do since the bible says if you marry and divorced u shld not marry again because now i want to marry.

         
  • oluwatosin

    Deres a guy I’m dating in dis deeper life church d guy has a daughter and I started dating him due to his story.he once has a girl fwend who has a daughter for him and left for eight years in d name of career after eight years now she came back claiming to marry d guy cos she’s having baby for him and d parent are now supporting her but d guy claims to love me wat will I do cos I’m converted cos of dis guy and I love him so much but his parent is my problem I tink dis is u justice

     
  • am a member of this church but am so confused with its rules concerning marriage,and marrying in the church is not an option for me,until am fully convinced…cos i see nothing sinful in flowers=our altars are decorated with it,i see nothing sinful in nice wedding gown=the clothes my sister wear to church are better than some if not all the wedding gown in dlbc….so whats the point of being holier than the bible…..IF AM WRONG LORD PLEASE HAVE MERCY…

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    The breakup is between 2015 and beyond

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    i bet the church is what our Lord God will judge when the time comes

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    Let dlbc continue

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    May God Forgive Me For My Sins.for those involved in pornography and smoking,stay away

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    Samuel Okolomon is a pastor i knew in warri at water resources effurun.his number is 07034600242

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    Remember,the good news is that the church speaks a divine truth but the bad news is that the manmade doctrine looks foolish,too restrictive and stupid.

     
  • @Olumide where you born again before?? Swearing does not make others see Jesus in you.

     
  • frempong ebenezer

    Hmm my issue is that can I am a guy who wants to marry from the church but I am not a member so i want to know if it it possible. And if yes how should I go about it.

     
  • Olumide Adeniyi

    Good day my people,im so sorry for judging deeper life bible church.i do not want to go to hell fire,please forgive me for what i wrote and done,amen.i became born again at warri on april 26 2009.since i quit the church in 2015 at that time,everything changes.i only saw pastor okolomon samuel by dec 2015.thats all i have to say,I LOVE YOU ALL,GOD BLESS YOU, AND SEE YOU IN HEAVEN IN JESUS NAME,AMEN.

     
  • Altruism

    I am a member of deeper Life.
    I have seen a man whom his wife left him married in the church.
    I have seen bouquet used by bride’s.
    I have noticed coutship hold for almost two years in DLBC while a married lady told me hers took less than 6months!
    I bought my beautiful and godly wedding gown!
    I am using a bouquet!
    I am going to have my wedding godly and decent.
    And, also, a blissful married life awaits me!
    Can you post some more weightier matters, please

     
  • Asamoah

    Lets live it all to the great one

     
 

 

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